Murmurings: A Painless Introduction to the Uninitiated
I just heard you. You muttered to yourself, or to whoever was in earshot, “What the hell are MurMurings?” I’d give you the definition from Webster’s Dictionary, but I use my copy to keep my dining room table level. In retrospect, we probably should have noticed how short the leg was when we bought it. In any event, ignore Webster’s definition and pay attention to mine.
“MurMurings” are illustrated jokes, one-liners, and non-sequiturs reflective of my quirky views and observations of the world around me. My first draft included sequiturs, but they were later deleted and used to keep my dining room table level. For no extra fee, you can scroll down to see examples of popular MurMurings from my book.
But wait – there’s more! The “MurMurings” book is sub-titled “Funny Tales of Terror and Other Desperate Cries for Help.” The nine “Funny Tales of Terror”, which appear after every few pages of “MurMurings”, are hilarious (and true) short stories about frightening or tense events from my life. You’ll find the names of the nine stories toward the bottom of this page.
MurMurings is meant for people of all ages. Except newborns. They can teethe on a stale bagel.



Funny Tales of Terror
The Time I Almost Got Robbed
When A Dog Bit Me During the 1968 Riots
The First Time I Had Sex (The shortest chapter)
The Time I Really Got Robbed
My First Car Accident
The Time I Nearly Got Struck By Lightning
My Kingdom for a Rest Stop
Bomb Scary
The Time I Got Crushed By A Giant